I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
