i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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