Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
