me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
