i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
