Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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