I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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