I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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