I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
