I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
