i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
