I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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