a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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