She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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