we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
