who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
