I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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