um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
