In the future we'll all be gay
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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