Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
