i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
