I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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