im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
