I skipped work to stalk him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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