She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
