did you get engaged???
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
