so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dick very happy bro
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
