It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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