i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
