I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
