That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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