i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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