I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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