This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
