So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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