Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have already put on my inside pants.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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