is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
