i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
