he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
