maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
