with your own penis?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
