Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
