Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
