your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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