i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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