I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
