She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
