Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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