She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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