But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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