I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
