have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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