I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
