Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
